Everything I’m linking to below was created by smart, wonderful humans who are part of the LGBT+ community. When you buy a candle, a book, or cute socks from one of these companies you’re voting with your dollars in a real, tangible way.

The fun isn’t always in the getting. Sometimes it’s in the dreaming too. With that in mind I’ve pulled together some of the things I’d love most this holiday season. I thought I’d share them with you, to spark some creative gift ideas for the cool, approaching-middle-aged-but hanging-on-for-dear-life, masculine person in your life.

If you’ve ever wondered “Whose land am I on?” or tried to get better about practicing land acknowledgement, this post is for you.

We’ve all put our foot in our mouths before. We’ve hurt people we love. We’ve stepped on someone’s foot at the grocery store, made an insensitive comment or joke we wished we could take back, forgotten someone’s name we absolutely should know and chances are, we’ve all misgendered someone. Even me – A real life transgender person.

In this post I talk about what can make misgendering somone go from a simple yet painful bump to an awkward and even traumatic interaction, and what you can do and say instead.

That one time I accidentally mansplained childbirth.
Spoiler. It didn’t go over well.

It turns out I had birthed more humans than the rest of the room combined. You never know who’s got a uterus and is willing to use it! 🤣

With the current shortage of new vehicles driving up the price of used cars we find our selves asking the question, “Should we fix the transmission on our Dodge Grand Caravan or letting it go and buy a new vehicle.

It’s 2022. A fair and equitable marriage should be something that you and your partner aspire to no matter who you are right? I mean you’re a feminist. Or at least in the sense that you believe women deserve the same rights as men. Of course you want your partner to have the same opportunities you do. 

And yet…Easier said than done. 

There aren’t just a list of signs and symptoms that make someone trans.  It’s not one or two defining moments or signs of outward struggle for trans folks.  For some it’s the tell tale, “I don’t want to wear that” or “I don’t want to play with the boys” or anxiety over gendered sports, clothes, celebrations.  

For me there were a hundred moments. A thousand moments. So many moments, some big, but mostly tiny cries for help.

This beautiful box of Katherine’s, once filled with fancy, delicious, chocolates has become the symbol of our family Christmas.Drawer by drawer, day by day, youngest to oldest we open up the day’s advent activity.

Every time I think of little boy me, seeing Crunchy and Smoothie, celebrating who I am over, while reading along with his after school snack, I  can’t quite believe that I made it here. That we made it here.  

Kraft Peanut Butter is one of the simple joys in life that we all have access to.  Regardless of what schools we went to, what neighbourhood we grew up in,  what type of cars we drive, or what our beliefs, most of us have that classic  green, or red lid somewhere in our kitchen. Even little boy me.  

There are surprising places where this many people in one family makes life exponentially difficult.

The biggest of these is absolutely our house. Who can afford a seven bedroom home so everyone can have their own space?

If you’ve ever wondered how to support the transgender and gender creative folks in your life, starting a conversation about pronouns with kids in your life, via very exciting bears, is a great place to start.

When Kraft Peanut Butter asked me to team up for Transgender Week of Awareness, to create, “His, Hers, Them and Theirs: Learnings Pronouns with the Bears” a children’s book, with their very own Crunchy and Smoothie, to help inspire families to have meaningful conversations around pronouns and what it means to Stick Together, and support each other when it comes to being our truest selves, I jumped at the opportunity.

I introduce to you my favourite little #enby, Mx.Wilde. Wilde uses they/them pronouns and we are all very comfy correcting others and ourselves when we misspeak, so don’t worry if you mess up at first, we’ll help you find your way.

Do I have to cancel Netflix in light of their support behind The Closer, by Dave Chappell, a transphobic piece of content, hidden behind the label of comedy currently leading the Netflix Originals charts?
That’s the question I’m wrestling with, which feels really unfair because I really love Chef's Table.

It was the first time I went swimming shirtless. I’d been nervous and not entirely sure I’d go through with it, but it was blissful; we were at a quiet river with my family, my kids splashing around, my wife drinking a beer in the sun, her family reading books and taking naps and just being. There was this moment when my kids were peaceful and Katherine’s hand was in mine and the sun hit my back just right, and I forgot that I was any different than any other Dad, any other husband, any other son in law.

A couple of years ago we had a dream to move our family to Salt Spring Island. Fast forward and we had packed all 5 of our kids up and hit the road.

Unlike the first house we were outbid on, it didn’t have a second tiny home on the property for my ex to live in.  Unlike the second house we were outbid on, it was at the very tip top of our budget, so there wasn’t much wiggle room and renos that were absolutely needed to make this house safe, leaving not much left to make a space that Chris, and other guests could stay in while here with us. 

Here are our options, and how we chose what was best for our family.

My heart pounded as we walked up to the school. I took a deep breath, calmed my papa bear nerves, and walked confidently into the blood-covered front office. There was my tiny baby boy, the youngest of 5, shaking like a leaf, staring off into space, battered and bruised.

Top surgery was the moment in my life that I looked forward to more than any other. I was not prepared for my top surgery. I had only seen what social media allowed me to see as I watched from the outside looking in. I went into surgery not really knowing what to expect, feeling unequipped to care for myself.

Campfire’s under the stars with hot dogs and pie irons.

Reading a book on the beach, while the kids splash in the ocean-- Katherine in a bikini of course.

Early morning coffee on the deck, as the sun peeks through the trees.

Freezies, and lemonade, and pancakes and watermelon and so much ice cream perched on top of sugar cones…

These are the things that flash across the screen of my mind when I think of a dreamy summer.

It turns out that before you can have a dreamy summer you have to decide what exactly a dreamy summer looks like for your family.

When parents ask me about their kid exploring their gender identity I tell them that I like to think of gender as one of the puzzle pieces that make up the whole of who we are.
For most people their gender puzzle piece is already in place. It’s the freebie - anchored securely in the perfectly fitting pieces around it. This is probably how you felt growing up.