CURIOUS ABOUT THE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS OF A TENDER YET TOUGH TRANSGENDER MAN IN HIS MID 30'S? OF COURSE YOU ARE... READ ON MY FRIENDS
When parents ask me about their kid exploring their gender identity I tell them that I like to think of gender as one of the puzzle pieces that make up the whole of who we are.
For most people their gender puzzle piece is already in place. It’s the freebie - anchored securely in the perfectly fitting pieces around it. This is probably how you felt growing up.
To our kids, our very queer family is typical.
I love it! And yet, I also want them to know that we are Queer! That we’ve got a little extra rainbow magic in us. Sometimes that is amazing. And sometimes that can put us in dangerous positions.
I want them to know how to talk about their family when they encounter people who don’t love and live with freedom like we do.
And so started our kids’ queer education by way of books!
TRANS AWARENESS WEEK.
The life expectancy of a transgender person is 35. Statistically speaking this is my last year, but I’m all about defying the odds. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m loved. I am a lucky one.
Everything I’m linking to below was created by smart, wonderful humans who are part of the LGBT+ community. When you buy a candle, a book, or cute socks from one of these companies you’re voting with your dollars in a real, tangible way.
There aren’t just a list of signs and symptoms that make someone trans. It’s not one or two defining moments or signs of outward struggle for trans folks. For some it’s the tell tale, “I don’t want to wear that” or “I don’t want to play with the boys” or anxiety over gendered sports, clothes, celebrations.
For me there were a hundred moments. A thousand moments. So many moments, some big, but mostly tiny cries for help.
Every time I think of little boy me, seeing Crunchy and Smoothie, celebrating who I am over, while reading along with his after school snack, I can’t quite believe that I made it here. That we made it here.
Kraft Peanut Butter is one of the simple joys in life that we all have access to. Regardless of what schools we went to, what neighbourhood we grew up in, what type of cars we drive, or what our beliefs, most of us have that classic green, or red lid somewhere in our kitchen. Even little boy me.
I introduce to you my favourite little #enby, Mx.Wilde. Wilde uses they/them pronouns and we are all very comfy correcting others and ourselves when we misspeak, so don’t worry if you mess up at first, we’ll help you find your way.
Do I have to cancel Netflix in light of their support behind The Closer, by Dave Chappell, a transphobic piece of content, hidden behind the label of comedy currently leading the Netflix Originals charts?
That’s the question I’m wrestling with, which feels really unfair because I really love Chef's Table.
Top surgery was the moment in my life that I looked forward to more than any other. I was not prepared for my top surgery. I had only seen what social media allowed me to see as I watched from the outside looking in. I went into surgery not really knowing what to expect, feeling unequipped to care for myself.
When parents ask me about their kid exploring their gender identity I tell them that I like to think of gender as one of the puzzle pieces that make up the whole of who we are.
For most people their gender puzzle piece is already in place. It’s the freebie - anchored securely in the perfectly fitting pieces around it. This is probably how you felt growing up.
HOW ARE YOU CELEBRATING PRIDE?
If you don’t feel like shouting and screaming and dancing and resisting you are not alone. I personally have run out of words.
It’s June and this is when I should be ramping up! Instead I’m turning inwards.
To our kids, our very queer family is typical.
I love it! And yet, I also want them to know that we are Queer! That we’ve got a little extra rainbow magic in us. Sometimes that is amazing. And sometimes that can put us in dangerous positions.
I want them to know how to talk about their family when they encounter people who don’t love and live with freedom like we do.
And so started our kids’ queer education by way of books!
Have you ever sat up late at night googling, “What to say when someone comes out to you?”, or “when someone you love comes out” or even, “what to say when kid comes out?”
DO YOU MAKE A “DID IT” LIST?
I don’t know about you, but I always enter the end of the year with a fair amount of angst, especially as a parent it’s easy to end the year feeling at least a little bit like a failure, and 2020 was no different. Until I stop and list all the actual shit I did this year in my annual “DID IT LIST!”
YOUR BEST OR YOUR WORST?
Do you think about what you’re passing on to your kids? We spend a lot of time talking about all the things we pass down to our children. We don’t talk much about the parts of ourselves that we work so hard to keep to ourselves, terrified to pass it on to our sweet babies. For me there is more from my childhood I keep tucked away from them than traditions and memories I share.
Every time I think of little boy me, seeing Crunchy and Smoothie, celebrating who I am over, while reading along with his after school snack, I can’t quite believe that I made it here. That we made it here.
Kraft Peanut Butter is one of the simple joys in life that we all have access to. Regardless of what schools we went to, what neighbourhood we grew up in, what type of cars we drive, or what our beliefs, most of us have that classic green, or red lid somewhere in our kitchen. Even little boy me.