WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE COMES OUT TO YOU
Have you ever sat up late at night googling, “What to say when someone comes out to you?”, or “when someone you love comes out” or even, “what to say when kid comes out?”
Of course you have! That’s why you’re here!
First, let me say, “High Fives!”
Like for real! The fact that you’re here, trying to get it right, because you know it matters, means a lot! Your person is lucky to have you in their lives!
Coming out is basically the scariest thing on the planet!
I know because I, and every other queer person has had to do it like a thousand times, and it’s scary each and every one of them!
The more I cared about someone the scarier it was. What if this truth about me was just too much for them? What if it changed something between us? What if? What if? What if?
“What if’s”, are always the scariest parts of anything unknown, aren’t they?
So how do you get it right? How do you make sure they know you love them just the same? That they aren’t too much? Too Different? Too queer?
what do you say when someone you love comes out to you?
Here’s what I like to hear!
5 THINGS TO DO WHEN SOMEONE COMES OUT TO YOU
1. Congratulations!- this is a celebration! Someone figured out who they are! Woot! Woot!
2. Thank you for trusting me!- telling you means that you are important to this person and that they feel safe enough to be brave.
3. I’m so proud of you! - it takes guts and a lot of self discovery to overcome our socialization. It’s kind of a big deal! Be so proud of that work! Be proud of their bravery.
4. How can I support you? - do they want you to use certain pronouns, correct people, keep their secret for now? What do they need from you?
5. I love you! - we need reassurance that you love us just the same, as before we told you our scariest truths.
Try not to say, “no matter what”. There should be no question that your love would change, because there is nothing wrong with who they are. Saying, “no matter what” can feel like “despite this flaw”, which is not at all what you are intending. This is one of those, less is more, moments.
This doesn’t begin to cover all the ways we can support and love each other but those are my top 5.
